Make Tough Decisions Feel As Effortless As Flower Shopping
Dear one - how are you? I wanted to share the personal tool I use when life’s path presents a crossroads. Because we all face them, and it doesn’t have to feel heavy, scary or charged-up with worry about making the “wrong” choice.
After this two minute read and clicking “download” on the free printable worksheet, I think you might feel a bit lighter. Here’s hoping!
To invest in a property all your own or keep renting? To let go of a relationship or keep trying to heal the rift together? To apply for the degree even though you’re past ‘University age”? To spend the money and go to the loved ones’ baby shower 5,000 miles away? Will you confront the boss for your promotion or start your own company at last?
Life doesn’t always hand you an armful of flowers and say ‘Enjoy, baby!”
Sometimes we find ourselves at a crossroads, mulling it over one too many times. Not anymore! Thanks to the mind of Benjamin Franklin I’ve got a method to share with you that could forever transform your decision making process!
(Bet you didn’t see the Ben Franklin reference coming. Stay tuned, lover).
Step 1.
Take a piece of paper and draw a line in the middle. Write Upshots and Downsides on either side. Or hit ‘print’ on the rather gorgeous free worksheet above!
This isn’t a basic Pros and Cons list, don’t worry, but it does share the same starting point.
Next, list out all the positives and negatives of pursuing a certain course of action. For example, purchasing a new car versus a used one. Flying back home for you friend’s bachelorette party or staying out in Tulum and working on your soul-business launch.
Step 2.
Get comfortable on a yoga mat or seated on the floor. It’s time to calm down your stressed-out nerves and tap into your body’s inherent intelligence. Hold one hand to your belly and another to your heart. Now take ten deep breaths, focusing on sending the breath all the way down into your pelvic floor.
Psssst.
If you need help finding your pelvic floor, just breathe as if you’re pushing your breathe into this papaya.
“Your mind knows very little about feeling alive and what’s best for your well-being! Breathe deeply, holding your heart with one hand and your belly with another to tap into your deep, embodied wisdom.”
Step 3. Now revisit your paper and unleash all the upshots and downsides of taking one path. Write them all down in one sitting.
What comes next is the genius part, inspired by Benjamin Franklin’s own methods:
Step 4. Consider the importance and weight of each item on your list. Now, for every positive consideration, cross out a negative consideration of equal and opposite weight.
For example, a family member recently shared with me the dilemma of going to a friend’s destination wedding or not. Upshot: flying to my friend’s destination wedding is that I would get to reunite with my soul friends and have quality time. Downshot: flying to my friend’s wedding would mean losing focus on the imminent launch of my new creative business happening the week after, potentially causing me to lose quality clients. I cross out both these items because they feel like they have equal weight. Strike a line through ‘em!
The whole “tough choice” process can feel light and delicious if you let it! Kinda like these orchids from Portugal.
Keep crossing out upshots and downsides on your list that feel more or less equally significant to another. This might mean they feel in terms of how they make you feel in your body, how they’ll impact loved ones, or how much financial flow they’ll give or take from your life.
Turn some music on! Keep it light. Continue striking through both sides with vigor and verve until you reach a point where items are only left on one side of your list. That’s your body-led, deliciously choreographed answer! The side with considerations remaining is your answer. Let it be your guide!
If you used the worksheet you can even sign your name to seal the deal with yourself.
Thank you, muse @CharlotteDrimmie for letting me capture you in flower-child mode.
Now go twirl out into the world, knowing it’s done!
The ego-driven voices in your head will likely try to keep deliberating on the decision but you’re wildly more intelligently than that. You know your ego is trying to control outcomes that the little mind just isn’t able to orchestrate. Nobody can control the ripple effects of our decision, how other people will feel about it or react. Sorry! (not sorry).
So maybe instead, you can tuck that nagging worry into bed, tell it everything will be alright and go buy yourself some real flowers. Over here in Amanacer world, I trust that no matter what happens you’re going to be just fiiiine.
Here’s to your yummy, creative living, and supporting yourself through it no matter what kind of crossroads looms.
I’m here for all of it!
